Just a journal entry...

I've debated with myself for a week now whether I should post about this or not. But I feel like it is something that happened to me and I want to be able to go back one day and read about it. Since this blog is the closest thing I have to a journal, I decided I would post it. But please understand that I am not doing this to get attention or your sympathy. I simply want somewhere to put this, so that I can go back to it one day and read about it. And just a warning, it may be a little graphic for some, I wanted to have the details for a reminder too. Oh, and long.

On the 18th of February, the same day we had our family get together with Rob, I found out I was pregnant. That morning I had taken the test, and it immediately turned to a + sign. I already knew, even though I was only 3 days late, I just knew. I called Colby at work and told him, we were both excited and decided right then that we wouldn't tell anyone for as long as we could. I'm sure in the back of both our minds we were thinking I would start getting sick in almost no time, and we would have to tell because I would need help with Cutler. I was only about 4 weeks and we figured I would start getting sick at about 7 weeks, so we had a few weeks to go. As I posted before, the day I went to Park City I woke up with a horrible cough that burned from my chest all the way up my throat. But I was not going to let that stop me from a girls weekend we had been planning for over a month. I drove up there, and each day I got worse and worse. Saturday we shopped and I wasn't cramping, but I just didn't feel good, and in the back of my mind I knew something wasn't right. I got home Sunday, early afternoon and was so excited to see all my boys! The next morning when I woke up, I went to the bathroom and there was blood. But only when I wiped. I immediately called Colby and then the Dr. It was too early for the Dr. office so I waited by the phone right until it was time for them to start answering. At first they told me they didn't know if they wanted me coming in and putting the healthy patients at risk because I had this stupid cold, but they had me come in that afternoon. In the meantime my dr., Jeff Rogers was in Jimmy John's, so Colby stopped working and went to tell him what was happening and what we should do. I just love him! He told me we should take it serious and that they better get me in to see someone. He wasn't in that day so I saw dr. Ott, not my favorite. He did an ultra-sound and we saw the pregnancy. I remember when I was pregnant with Cutler at this exact same time I started cramping really bad, and was doubled over. They thought maybe it was an ectopic pregnancy, so we did an ultra-sound then too. This was the first thing he wanted to rule out. To him the pregnancy looked good. He said that when you start to miscarry the sack starts to turn from a circle to an oval shape. This was still in a circle, so I felt some relief. He told me to come back in a week or two and they would do another u.s for my sanity, sincy my regular first appointment wasn't until the end of the month. He told me I wouldn't need to go the E.R. if I kept bleeding, but that it should stop or slow down if things are o.k. And that I needed to rest and not do too much, like lift heavy objects...Cutler is a heavy object. While we were eating dinner that night, I asked Colby if I should have my dad come over and they could give me a blessing. I knew that when I asked my dad, he would immediately know I was pregnant. He came over and the that was the first thing out of his and my mom's mouth. I told them yes, but it wasn't good. I needed the blessing because of my bleeding. The next day I continued bleeding and it seemed to get worse and worse, more and more. I noticed it starting to get darker also. That same day Colby came home from work early because he was sick! Seriously, how can he take care of the boys when I can't, if he's sick too?! I decided that night that I would have to call for some help. Doug came wed. morning and took Noah to school and Cutler home with him. He brought them back after school and lunch, and then I put them down for naps and took a nap myself. Then my mom came and got them when she got off work and took them home with her until bath time. On Thursday Jennifer came and picked the boys up when she took Carson to school. I'm sure they had a blast at her house. That morning while I was getting them breakfast, I felt something weird drop. Almost like when you're delivering and you feel the baby drop down, and almost out. I stopped what I was doing and went into the bathroom. I had already changed my pad that morning, I noticed the new one was completely full and when I went to sit down on the toilet I huge clot fell into it. And a few minutes later another one came. During the day I passed 3 or 4 big clots, and miscarried the baby. Something I had heard happened to people all the time, but never thought I would have to experience it. I called the dr. and they had me come in that afternoon, again not being able to see dr. Rogers another dr. did the u.s. and confirmed what I was afraid had happened. When we left, Dr. Rogers was out in the hall and we stopped and talked to him and told him everything that had happened. I was so relieved that we were able to talk to him and that I was able to hear from him what needed to happen, and what we should and shouldn't do for a little while.
It obviously wasn't time for that little one to come and join our family, but we will try again.

Sick!

So, Friday morning, the day I went up to Park City to hang out with some friends, I woke up with a cough that hurt like a mother coming from my chest. The whole weekend I was sick, and I still am pretty stuffy. Colby has also come down with it and therefore, we are a sick family. The boys have yet to get anything and we are hoping to keep it that way. Our parents have been helping take care of them while we are on the mend. After I have somewhat recovered I will post about my exciting girls weekend getaway. It really was a blast! Until then...

Update

So after neglecting my own blog for what has felt like forever, I decided I'd better update. I just didn't feel like there was anything great to blog about, so I turned to the way overdue tags I have received.

Bag Tag

I don't have what you call the cutest purse/bag, but it works for all the stuff I feel I need to carry around at all times. I can't even believe what I had inside this little thing: Dixie Direct card and directory, 2 sets of keys, temple recommend, cafe rio g.c., St. George Day Spa g.c.'s and menu, Massage Envy G.C., Fabulous Freddy's gas card, pen, wallet, wipes, 2 diapers, a bank receipt and a costco receipt, 2 paperclips, some change, an almost empty pack of gum, lipgloss, costco coupon, and my camera which I was using to take the picture, obviously. I think that about covers it all. I am going to Park City with some friends for the weekend, and my goal is to find a super cute purse that I can double as a diaper bag, that doesn't have to fit the world in. Wish me luck!

I don't know what this tag is called, but here it goes!

10 Years Ago: I didn't know which way I was going in life, and was just living from day to day. I was working at Rococo's and loved hanging out with my friends all night after work. We had such a fun group of kids that all worked together. It was a blast!

*On My To-Do List: Short-term: empty and reload the dishwasher, get the kids lunch (I'm blogging instead, poor things), start getting the house ready for my weekend away. Long-term: Get caught up on all scrapbooks (I don't know how that's going to happen), find a new home or lot to build a new home.

*5 places that I've lived: Milford, St. George, Minersville, Provo, back to St. George

*5 jobs I have had: Maid (I'll never do that again) & hostess @ Rococo's, NA at Milford Hospital (or that), Insurance Secretary, Waitress (P.F. in provo), Cashier and title clerk at St. George Ford.

*What I would do if I became a billionaire: First, I'd get out of debt. Then pay cash for a new home. I'd help out whoever needed it, make sure my children would be taken care of, and go on vacation

*Bad habits: pull out my eyelashes(Allie I do this too), pick at my split ends, chew on my fingernails, and pick at my toenails

*Things I enjoy: my family, being outdoors, curling up on the couch in a blanket on Sunday after church while kids are taking a nap, fast little get aways.

*Things people don't know about me: I think everyone knows everything about me since I've started this blog. Between posts and tags, there's not much else to tell.

Ok, for all of you who keep tagging me, you're done! I think everyone knows all they need or want to know about me. I just don't think there's that much more I can tell about myself. After all, I'm not that interesting. And since I had to get a picture for my bag tag, I found some pictures of other things I have been doing. Imagine that, I have been doing things.

Parade of Homes

These are some pictures from the beautiful homes in the parade this year. I was dumb and only took this many photos, there was so much to look at I wasn't thinking about pictures. From the top: This home was ginormous! It was the 21,000 sq. ft. home, which I thought was very nice. Now, for those of you who saw it, yes it was huge, and no you wouldn't ever be able to find your children in it, but besides the fact that it was huge, I thought it was actually a very livable home. Most of the homes you see are decorated so extravagant, and seem like you couldn't even live in them. This one, to me was actually not like that. The next two pictures are the craft room of another of my favorites. If I were to build a home, I would definitely have a room just like this. In the middle picture, you can't tell very well, but the cupboards have little holes in them with ribbon hanging out. Such a great idea. And the one side of the island was slotted for 12X12 paper, awesome! This room was thought through very well I thought. The rest of the pictures (except the last one) all come from the same house. My absolute favorite, #12! The middle left and bottom middle are the same room. A boys sports room. So cute, the football field was magnetic! The middle pic there was the craft room, the end picture obviously of the back yard, and the bottom left picture, you can't tell very well, but I was taking a picture of the train going around the ceiling. It was so cute. This home was my all time favorite, it just seemed like it was built for a family and decorated so cute!

Rob, again

Today is a sad day. Rob is returning to Iraq to finish his time over there. Lucky for him, and all of us here at home, he is more than half way done and is scheduled to come home in June. So only 4 more months to go. These are pictures of our get together with him while he was here. He just loves Cutler. He doesn't have any sons, and they share the same birthday. Cutler was scared of him and cried when he first saw him, but by the time we were leaving, he was loving Rob's attention. We support you, and love you Rob! Be safe!!

Happy late birthday!

So I know I'm a couple days late, sorry!!! Tuesday was actually Kristen's birthday, and I just wanted to do a small post about her. She is Colby's only sister, and we love her so much. Like I said in my post about Rob, she's been such a strong person raising her girls by herself for the past 8 months. She keeps super busy with all three of them in some sort of extra curricular activity at all times. She's in the Y.W. and on the PTA at Hannah & Malia's school. All in all, she's the best daughter, sister, wife, mom, and friend. We love you Kristen! (and this is the only picture I have of you, but it's still cute!)

And he's off...!

I know I hardly ever post things about Noah, and I feel bad about it. But the truth is, he's not really learning new and dangerous things like Cutler. They're just at different stages in their lives. But Colby got this video of him riding his bike like a pro the other day so I thought I'd share. He's so big now. He's actually almost too big for his bike. He got it in '06 for Christmas and it's almost time for a new one.

(I dont' know why the video isn't very good quality, sorry.)

This one's for you, LaRae

For those of you who don't know, LaRae is my SIL Jennifer's mom. She and Wayne were down this past weekend and she told me how she loves getting on here and looking at the crazy things Cutler does. Well, this one's for you, LaRae!

Cutler has figured out how to climb up the ladder to go down the slide, I hate it. I don't know why I should be surprised, he climbs up everything else. I just get so worried that he won't get his feet under him the right way, and he's going to go off the slide backwards. I told Colby the night Cutler did this that we will be going to the E.R. this summer, if not sooner, with this child.

My Valentine's

The day actually started out very busy for me, as usual. I wanted to make the cards we took around, but when I got started I realized I needed a few supplies. It was about 11:00 and I still wasn't even ready for the day. After running around trying to get ready, running into town to retrieve the things I needed and trying to get back home before Cutler fell asleep in the car all by 1:00 was a challenge. But I managed. I made cupcakes and had Noah tell me everyone he wanted to take them too. He was so cute about it:

"Mr. Cahoon (our little old neighbors across the street, they love our boys. He calls both of them this). Brea. The twins. Oh and my teacher, don't forget her, I know where she lives, she just lives right there (pointing out the window)."

And we couldn't forget about all the grandma's and papa's. He is such a thoughtful little boy.

I got a new camera...it's awesome. 8.0 megapixels(whatever that is) and the biggest LCD screen, 2.5". The best thing about it...it takes clear pictures. I am not a great photographer, but as most of you have witnessed, my other camera was starting to go downhill. Colby had these adorable aprons made for him and the boys, they are SO cute! (thanks Sherie) And he made dinner, wahoo!! I love when I don't have to cook, and Valentines is the absolute worst day to try and go out to dinner, especially with kids. We don't do the babysitter thing, grandma's are much easier but it was Valentine's and they wanted to celebrate too. He made this Primavera Pie and it was delicious. I have to say it...Another spoiled day for me. The last picture was just today of the boys eating lunch, I thought it was cute and wanted to post it.

In honor of LOVE day!

I have actually been tagged a couple of times to do this, but I felt like I had done too many tags so I passed. Then the other day Colby asked me why I hadn't done a post about him since everyone else had, so I thought I'd better do one. Plus it's love day, and he's my love.

What is his name? Colby

How long have you been married? Almost 4 years!
How long did you date? 1 month; engaged 2 months - super fast!!
How old is he? 28 (29 in April)
Who eats more sweets? Definately ME
Who said I love you first? I would say Colby
Who is taller? Uh...Colby..Duh
Who can sing better? I don't know that either of us has the best voice, but I would say Colby
Who is smarter? Colby
Who does the laundry? Me, and I hate it.
Who pays the bills? Me
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Colby.
Who mows the lawn? Definately Colby. Although I would if I had to.
Who cooks dinner? Colby loves to cook, but I try to have it ready or at least started by the time he gets home from work so we can get it over with.
Who drives? He does
Who is more stubborn? That would be me.
Who asked who out first? Colby asked me.
Who proposed? again, Colby
Who has more siblings? we have the same...3 each
Who wears the pants? I would like to say Colby, but I think I do.

All the boys I love