As we layed in bed last night, we talked about our fears, some of the things we want for our kids, and we cried. We cried hard! My biggest fear is that he'll lose his memory. He'll forget me and the kids. I can learn to live and deal with physical deficits, but mental ones, I'm not so sure.
We both probably only got about 4 hours of sleep before we had to get up and be to the hospital by 6:00, which meant we had to leave the hotel by 5:30.
Here is a picture of the last MRI Dr. Reichman wanted so he could figure out a plan for surgery.
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Here we go again! I have such mixed emotions about today. We've waited a month for it to get here, yet hoped it wouldn't come too quickly. We're ready for some answers and are scared to death at the same time. We just got to the hospital and are waiting to check in. Assuming surgery prep will take a little over an hour or so, they'll probably get started around 7:30. Dr. Reichman was originally hoping that once he got in there, and could see the tumor, that he would be able to tell that it was the type he could just take out, and that it would be in a good position to do so. After talking to him yesterday, we know that's not going to be the case. We've talked to two different hospital/office staff that have mentioned resection during surgery, and that that was the plan. When we asked Dr. R about that, he said it's not the plan. He had Colby get another MRI a couple of weeks ago so he could get a better idea of the location and make a plan of how he was going to go in, after seeing the scans, he's only going to be able to do biopsy today. And isn't planning on results until after we've gone home. Sounds like colby will only be in the hospital for a few days.
I'll update later as things progress and I hear more. For now, prayers are welcomed , felt, and loved!!
When they called Colby's name, they took us back into a room to do his vitals and sign papers. That was THE hardest thing we've done yet. I made him fill out an Advance Health Care Directive. It basically makes any healthcare decisions for Colby, in case he ends up unable to speak for himself. He chooses now what he would like to happen if something goes wrong. So…if he doesn't wake up, or ends up in a coma, I don't have to say pull the plug, or keep him on life support. But signing your life away, literally, has a whole new meaning to us.
When they were all done getting him ready, they wheeled him out, told us to say our goodbyes and I went one way, they went the other. We hugged and kissed and cried. I told him he would be ok, not really so sure, but I had to stay positive.
My parents got to the hospital right at 7:00. I am so grateful for them and the support they give me. I don't ever want to ask anyone to do something for me, I just want to be able to handle it on my own, but man am I glad they came. They were in the waiting room when I walked in. My mom stood up to give me a hug and I lost it! LOST IT! Which I think was good. It feels good to get it out, and I think it's good for me too.
They took Colby back in to surgery right at 7:00, one of the surgery techs called me in the waiting room at 8:20 to let me know they had just made incision and should be done in about 3 hours. When surgery was over they called me and told me to go up to the 4th floor waiting room and wait for Reichman to give me an update, and then we could see Colby.
Dr. Reichman just came in at about 11:30 to update on Colby. He's done with surgery and we're waiting for them to bring him to the room. He said he feels like the surgery went very well, much better than he thought it would. He was able to go in vertically, which he wasn't very optimistic about before. And he was able to resect some of the tumor which he wasn't planning on doing. When he got in there it was right there and accessible. He was able to go up through an aqua duct that opened up, which he didn't think he would be able to do. He thinks he got about 70% of it!! He only lost about a coke can worth of blood which is great!! We'll know a lot more after we get results back, but that won't be for about 10 days. The freeze didn't work like he hoped it would, so we don't have any results right now. We'll see him in about 30-45 minutes, let's hope he remembers us. Dr. R doesn't think that will really be affected, but we won't know any side effects until he's in recovery and watched for a while. The next 24 hours is very crucial!
After brain surgery it's protocol that they go to the 4th floor, which is the Neuro ICU, where Colby has to stay for 24 hours so they can watch him very closely. They do neuro testing every 2 hours where they ask him questions like where he is, his name, the date, etc…, and they have him do physical things like squeeze their fingers, hold his arms out straight with eyes closed, it's very interesting. And so far he's done very well with everything, except moving his eyes. They aren't working together and they're not 100% sure why.
Colby did great his first day out of surgery. He's still in ICU but first and foremost he remembers me!! I was so worried that he wouldn't, and not really for me, but if he doesn't' remember me, chances are he wouldn't remember the kids. And that would be devastating!! But we don't have to worry about that. He had a hard time waking up and an even harder time opening his eyes. All day it has been a challenge to keep them open. The blurred vision is worse now, and Dr. R bought that because his vision was affected before the surgery, it would most likely be after. When I first saw him though, his eyes didn't match up. The left eye seemed to wander a little, while he tried to focus with his right eye. He has had 4 different people come in and check them, but the nurse says none of them seem to be concerned yet. I am though!! But I'm not very patient. Trying!! They did come in and bring him a patch, so he now looks like a pirate!
The kids loved this picture! His incision is long!! It starts in the back of his head and goes down into his neck. So his neck is very sore because they stretch those muscles out during surgery. that's where his pain is. He's been pretty nauseous, which is expected with brain surgery, but it's making it hard to get to food and drinks. He wants to eat so bad and when he finally got some jello, he threw it up. Baby steps!! The nurse also showed us his ct scan from this afternoon and told us that his ventricles seem to be very swollen, like the largest he's ever seen, but that there was some surgery air in there still and that was causing it. Also there was a little blood, but Dr. Reichman is happy with the way his scans looked, so we will be too! So all good news, pretty much!
I want to share an experience our little family had over they weekend at home. It was our stake conference and we were very blessed to have our bishop, stake president, and Elder Terry from the seventy visit us. They talked with each of our kids, and showed great concern and love for each of them. Elder Terry talked to us about some personal experiences, and just kept telling us to keep having and exercising our faith. To put our trust in the Lord, and let His will be done. And to accept whatever may happen. We felt the spirit so strongly in our home. Well, today I got a message from our stake president that Elder Terry was asking about us and wanted to see us. About an hour later I got a call from him that he was standing outside Colby's room. I was in the cafeteria with my parents so I rushed up there to visit with him. He is such an amazing servant of the Lord. I barely know him, yet I love him. He hold a special place in our hearts. And he says the same about my family. It is such an amazing feeling to know that someone like him stops his busy everyday life to make ours feel important, and that we are loved. We know we are loved, we are so incredibly blessed because of this knowledge! We are SO unbelievably grateful for everyone's messages, prayers, thoughts, love and concern.
Couple of picture sent to me today from Sherie
I'm so happy to know that kids are resilient
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