Diagnosis

Today, by far, has been probably the hardest day. While Colby was in PT, Dr. Reichman came in and got me. We went back to Colby's room and he told me the diagnosis…
Pineoblastoma Grade IV; the worst they've ever seen - NOT GOOD!
This was the one we were hoping his tumor wasn't. Dr. Reichman says he has seen a lot of these, but none like this one. There is a tumor board that meets every other week to look at cases and determine what it is they're dealing with. Colby's board is made up of Dr. Reichman, a Neuro-Oncologist, a radiologist; a radiation oncologist, and all others who will be involved with treatment, and none of these people have seen one this bad.

By definition:
Pineoblastomas are found in the pineal region which sits near the exact center of the head and brain. They are the most aggressive and highest grade tumor among pineal parenchymal tumors. They are typically found in young children. Pineoblastomas are typically large and almost always associated with obstructive hydrocephalus, which is what took Colby to the doctors in the first place. Compression of the tectal plate may also result in the Parinaud syndrome - a supra nuclear vertical gaze disturbance caused by compassion of the tectal plate - double vision(which he came out of surgery with).
They are highly malignant tumors prone to CSF seeding, quickly growing and invasive.
Treatment is usually a combination of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. Despite these measures, prognosis is not good.

I honestly don't remember everything he said to me in that room. I put on my strong, brave, fighter face and went back into the PT room where Colby was. Actually, I text all our parents first. Told them what they needed to know, and to not call or text Colby because he wasn't there to hear from Reichman with me, and he didn't know yet. When Colby was done with PT we went back to his room. He knew I knew something, but I just wasn't prepared to tell him the news yet. I told him it was a Pineoblastoma but that Reichman would come back later in the day to talk to both of us and answer any questions.
As soon as I told him he said "that sucks" and not much else. They came right in to get him for speech, we went down, but the therapy dr. came in and wanted to talk to Colby and he just asked to miss the session for the day. We told the therapist that we'd gotten a diagnosis and she understood. We went back to his room, he talked to the dr. for a minute and then we just sat around, pretty depressed and upset.

After I text our parents I immediately got messages from my parents and Sherie. They were on their way up and I couldn't say anything about it. And I'm so thankful they came! I called my mom and she was a mess, which didn't help me AT ALL!! We both just cried on the phone. She was mostly mad and sad that she wasn't here with me when I got the news. They all think I shouldn't have been alone, but how could that have been avoided? It totally sucked being by myself, and not having anyone to just cry to but I made it through.
After a while I had to take my phone to the car to charge it, and while I was there Colby called to tell me Reichman had come back to the room to talk to us. So I hurried back up there to hear what he had to say. He went over everything he had told me, to Colby, and answered any questions we had. Which wasn't a lot, we didn't know what to ask, we don't know much about this tumor, and what we do know is that there isn't a lot of information on them.

When my parents go close they stopped at Makayla's and picked up our kids. I thought Colby would want to see them, and it helped put a little smile on his face! I was already planning on driving home tonight for the weekend and then coming back Sunday night or Monday morning to bring Colby home on Tuesday. I'm so grateful they all came up so I didn't have to drive home alone with the kids. I probably would have broke down to them and then freaked them out!! My parents took Noah and Cutler, and Sherie drove with me and we had Lexie and Mason. We left pretty late,

FB post:
Pineoblastoma Grade IV
Dr. R says fight like crazy. So that's what we're going to do! We haven't told our kids yet, not sure how. But, Colby is suppose to be discharged on Tuesday, so hopefully by the time we get home, we'll have figured out how and what to say. We see the Oncologist the next week, and hopefully soon after that can start treatment. Which we still aren't sure which route they'll take first. 
Prayers like crazy are certainly asked for!! Although, we know, no matter what Colby does, or we do or what the doctors do, it's not really in any of our hands. We're putting all of our faith in our Heavenly Father right now.
We are so incredibly blessed with so much family and good friends so close, who are all helping. We have an amazing ward, which we just barely moved into, and neighbors who are unbelievably supportive and all want to help. We hardly know these people, and they're all amazing!! We know we are loved.
So FIGHT we will. We have it in us. Never have I felt the love of my Heavenly Father and Savior as much as I do now, and have for the past two months. It's an incredible feeling that I hope sticks around for a while. As always, thank you everyone for your texts, calls, offers of dinner, to take care of kids, money, everything!! In the next few weeks, we might be taking you up on it smile emoticon