Welcome Home

It was so good to finally pull into our driveway yesterday. And to such an awesome "Welcome Home". Once we got into the house and finally got everything unpacked I walked around the house noticing little things that were different than the way we left them.

Laundry had been folded and put in all the kids rooms. Masons old crib was disassembled and the new one put together ready for him to use. (If I could just be ok with him not next to me in my room) Wayne had come over and finished building the wall for our trampoline to be put together and down in the hole. And an amazing "Welcome Home" chalk sign on the driveway from Shan & Jennifer's family.
We are SO blessed to have such amazing family and friends!!

Thank you to everyone who helped and did things to make our life just a little bit easier for right now!!

Discharged

Colby is out of the hospital. We got to Kristen's at about 12:30. Ct scan looked good, ventricles are shrinking. Only a little, but they are smaller! So that's good news!! Dr. says we can go home but I'm not 100% confident yet so maybe tomorrow, possibly Tuesday morning. I had a little bit of a breakdown last night at the hospital to the nurse. I just don't know what to watch for if something happens at home. They keep stressing that infection is the worst thing that can happen right now. And that scares the begeebies out of me!! I'm afraid I won't catch it, not knowing what to really watch for other than a fever. But his nurse was awesome. When I got back to the hospital this morning he had printed out some information for me so I could feel a little more at ease with this shunt. 
We still don't have results from the fluid. Hoping to hear Tuesday. We'll have to come back possibly next week for a follow up with Dr. Reichman and then we'll hopefully determine the next step. He has to take it easy for a few days now, so we'll go home and pretty much just hang out. We are so incredibly grateful for everyone who helped this weekend by coming to support me, taking care of my kids, calling, texting, or messaging to check on Colby!! We love you all and I thank you a million times over for your continued love and support! It means the world to me. I just cry every time someone texts to tell me they want to help, or know someone who wants to help do something for us. I'm not good at all at accepting help, but I'm trying. So thank you for everything once again. 

Doug & Janet took Noah home with them to Pine Valley. My parents left Mason with us, but stopped at Makayla's to get the other two and took them home with them. We'll stay for a day or two before we make the trip home. 

Letting family know

Once we got home from the ENT appointment we started making calls. I should say Colby started making calls. I couldn't call anyone. I couldn't tell anyone. I immediately went into survival mode, and wanted to protect everyone. I didn't want anyone else to have to deal with this. Colby on the other hand needed to call people. He needed to let people know. The first person he called was Dave. He needed to let him know he wouldn't be back to work for the day and told him about the tumor. While I ran into the store Colby called Kent and talked to him about calling Dr. Reichman. He told him what was going on and I'm sure he called Sherie and the rest of their family. It was Janet's birthday and I remember telling Colby as soon as we got to the car that he couldn't call her. It would ruin her day. I knew she needed to know, but I just couldn't let him call her just yet. Once we got home we sat out front on the bench just crying. After a little while Colby said he needed to call his parents, and if I wasn't going to let him then I had to. And that wasn't going to happen, so I had to let him. Our neighbor Erika pulled up and once she saw me she knew it was bad. We'd had a little neighborhood bbq the night before and I was telling her how Colby was convinced he had an annuerism. I sometimes think he over analyzes things and brushed off his thoughts. Erika's husband has a brain tumor. He's living with it. Dr. Reichman did his surgery 4 years ago, he underwent Chemo, finished medical school and is living with his tumor. But for her, I'm sure it brought every emotion they felt right back. She was a mess. 
Thursday, the day we found out the results, was the last day of school. On the way over to the school I just cried and cried. I knew I needed to get it out before I picked up the boys. I thought I had myself under control, and when I pulled up to the school I lost it again. I was so afraid of letting them know. I went into the office and couldn't talk to any of the secretaries, which is not normal. I usually sit in there for a minute and chit chat. I saw Cutler in the hall and told him to make sure he had everything and I was going to get Noah. When I got to his class I sat and talked to Mr. Prince for a little bit. He was my 3rd grade teacher. My favorite year of elementary school!! He just cried to me about not having Noah in his class anymore, and how much he just loved him. I bawled. I had lots of things going through my mind, but I didn't want him to know. We all cried, even Noah was sad to not be in his class anymore. I got a couple of pictures of the two of them and we left. I couldn't tell the kids yet. I got them home and Colby took them to the pool. 

After a few hours I sent a text to my family letting them know what was going on. I got a couple of immediate responses, texts, phone calls. It took a couple of hours but my dad sent me a text that hit my heart and made it hurt. Mostly for him! He told me he hadn't text or called me because he was having such a hard time with the news. He hit his knees when he read my text, he cried and he prayed for us. He wanted me to know he loves us and to know that our Heavenly Father loves us too. I responded to him and let him know that I totally understood and it was ok. I called Makayla to see if we could bring our kids up there. I didn't know what to do with our kids. I hate putting people out, and not that we would be doing that, but more than anything, I hate asking for help. This journey is going to change that. 
Once we got the call from Reichman and we knew we needed to leave, Colby called my dad and asked him to come give him a blessing. My parents were at my house in no time. They are amazing. They are so supportive. Their hearts hurt too. That's exactly what I didn't want to happen, I wanted to protect everyone, but it's not possible. I need them to hurt, feel sad, mad, angry, and whatever else, so that they can be here for us. 

One day post Shunt placement

Quick update…
Colby is feeling pretty good. He hasn't noticed symptoms change much though. Mostly just a little blurred vision. From the ct scan this morning they learned that the ventricles have not changed. Hasn't gotten worse, hasn't gotten better. Which isn't the best news but the dr.'s ok with it. They ordered an X-ray to check the shunt and make sure it's placement is right. Sometimes it gets coiled up and they have to go in and fix it. So...the X-ray looked good, it's not coiled up but now we don't know why it's not draining. Dr. thinks maybe it just might need more time to drain. He's getting up a little on his own and eating some  He has been moved out of ICU and is in a normal room. The dr. says more than likely we'll be out tomorrow but can't go home. 300 miles is too far to be in case something happens. And I'm ok with it. I don't want to get there and something happen. Scary!! Again, thank you for your prayers!! It's amazing the love we feel!! Every time if hear that someone else wants to do something for us I just cry!! Thank you!! Thank you!! We love all of you more than we can even express. 

You know, we were already coming up north this weekend? Noah had a baseball tournament. We were already coming. Just not in the middle of the night. And not dropping our kids off not knowing when we would see them again, and what was really going to take place. I told Noah I would try and make it down to at least one of the games. He played 2 on friday, and 2 today. I didn't make it down yesterday. I just couldn't leave the hospital. Makayla and Cory took the rest of the kids and watched. I am so thankful for family that just drops their plans and things they need to do, to take care of my family. On Saturday, I couldn't leave either. Rob and Kristen went down and watched the first game, then Brett and Julie went down and watched his second. Everyone I talked to said Noah played his heart out. I'm sure he did! I'm sure he took his frustration out on those games. And I'm glad he did!! After the last game Brett & Julie brought Noah back up to the hospital so he could see that Colby was going to be ok. Noah is the type that needs to see for himself what's going on. He needs to know. It was so good for him to see his dad awake, hooked up to machines, but still his dad. AND…Noah told us he got the game ball!! Coach text me and said he'd never seen Noah play so hard. I felt horrible that I didn't make it down to watch him, but I am SO proud of how he played!!

Colby had a room full of visitors today…all day. My parents came over with Mason after he had a nap, Doug & Janet, Brett & Julie, Kristen & Rob all were here. It was good times. Mason especially like the view from Colby's room. The Life Flight Helicopter pad was right below his room.

I just want to talk about Dr. Tippetts. He is Dr. Reichman's partner. Dr. R can't do surgery right now because of an injury, so he had Dr. T take care of Colby. When we met with him yesterday morning before Colby was admitted, I thought he was crazy. And he kind of is! But he is awesome! Amazing!! He explains everything just the way I need him to. And if I ask him something twice, he doesn't care. He explains it again. I'm sure he understands that I'm not a brain surgeon and don't know the first thing about brains. I can only imagine he deals with my type on a daily basis. He is full of expression. That's the only way I can describe him. His eyebrows go way up and he gets loud, or he crunches them and talks like he's mad. But there's something about him, he cares. He puts his arm around me and tells me I'm strong, and he knows this is hard, and that I'm dealing with it very well. Of course I don't feel that at all! But he makes me feel so good, and comforted. I am SO incredibly grateful for modern medicine, and those who are willing to be educated enough to be able to take care of such an important organ. 

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Out of surgery

First of all, thank you everyone for all the kind words, offers of prayers, and help with kids and whatever else!! I honestly never knew so many people cared so much about us! 
Tonight's update is this…Colby is out of his first surgery. They put a medium pressure shunt in his head to drain the fluid out of his brain which will reduce the pressure and swelling of the ventricles. They had to clipper two spots on his head for incisions and he was worried about his hair, but told the nurses his wife could fix it for him  oh dear!! The shunt is in the top right side of his head, and has a catheter that runs down behind his ear, down his neck and chest and will drain into his belly and absorb into his body. These pictures show the catheter running through his body.

 Unless there comes a time when the shunt causes problems, it will stay in his head forever. He feels really good right now. Is eating soft foods, getting up a little, and feels a little pain mostly at incision points in his head. Which is to be expected!! He's in the ICU for the night for observation, where they'll do neuro testing every two hours through the night to watch for brain swelling, or bleeding. The tests include following the nurses finger with just his eyes, not head; holding arms out straight evenly without bouncing; also straight up; holding nurses fingers while pushing away, also pulling in; squeezing fingers; smiling evenly; and even sensation on his face. So far he's passed all tests!!  More than likely he'll get moved to another floor tomorrow and stay another night. We won't know answers about the fluid until next week sometime. And until we know that we can't plan for future treatment. They also want the shunt to be in for a couple of weeks before moving on to the next phase. It needs to keep draining and relieving pressure and they want to make sure it's doing its job!! Dr. T says the tumor was positioned a little strange so he won't let us go home because it's too far away from him, so we don't know how long we'll be up here. We are incredibly grateful for everyone's thoughts and prayers!!! We really can feel them and feel your love! This is hard! And I know I couldn't do this without all of the love and support I feel from everyone. So thank you, thank you! 
I am so grateful for both my parents and Colby's parents for being up here to support us. We left in the night, dropped the kids off and made our way here. It was a huge leap of faith, and they followed right behind us. My parents had to stop at Makayla's and pick up Mason, he wasn't doing so great there. He wouldn't eat anything or drink a bottle for her, nor would he sleep. They brought him up here and are keeping him with them. I'll go eat with them, go to the hotel and sleep with them, and they'll take care of him during the day. And Colby's parents, and Brett and Julie are here at the hospital supporting both of us. We couldn't do this without them!! We went across the street tonight to Mimi's for dinner. My parents, Mason and I. I was doing fine until I got a phone call from Colby's boss Dave. He was a mess. And it's ok. But I do pretty good until someone else starts crying. Dave loves Colby! He thinks of him as a brother and would do anything for him and our family. He just wanted to hear my voice, and know that he'll be ok. He offered so much to us, and wants me to know he'll take care of us. I am so grateful for the amazing people Colby works for!! He will never find better people to be employed by! When I got off the phone I just cried to my parents, telling them all that Dave had said. I told them I don't want people to help us. Deep down, I do, I know I'll need lots of help, but it's so hard for me to accept it. I'm a very independant prideful person. Maybe that's why the Lord sent this trial to us. For me to lose my pride, and to let people help me, serve me. My dad gave me quite the little talk after that phone call. I need to let people help. They want to, they want to serve us. And by me telling them no, I'm robbing them of blessings from their service. Thanks dad! Thanks for making me see that this is required. 

A huge game changer for us

For the past few months Colby hasn't been feeling very good. He's had a ringing in his ear, blurred vision, throat/voice issues, and unusually tired. At first he thought maybe he had an ear infection. He went to instacare and they gave him a nasal spray. It didn't help. His vision seemed to be getting worse so he went to the eye doctor. They changed his prescription, but after a week he started noticing bad headaches by the end of the day, which he decided was because his eyes hadn't changed. So he went back and they did an exam and determined he was right, they hadn't changed, so they changed his prescription back. His ear started bothering him more and eventually he went to an ENT dr. He couldn't really find anything, and had a feeling it was something they needed to look into a little more, so he had an MRI scheduled. This week, on Tuesday morning, Colby went for the MRI. They did 3 scans and told us to wait to hear from the dr. Colby heard from him the next morning and he wanted to see him first thing Thursday morning. He didn't waste much time telling us that what they saw on the MRI wasn't normal. He showed us the scan and told us there is a tumor right in the middle of his brain and it's blocking the spinal fluid from circulating the way it should, and causing his discomfort.

We were shocked! Completely blindsided! Nervous. Scared. Mad. The doctor told us he had already sent all of Colby's scans to the neuro surgeon here and we should be hearing from him probably by the first of next week. But Colby, thankfully, asked if we could get another surgeon to look at them. One that he knows from up north. When he told him it was Dr. Reichman he said, "If you can get into him, you should!" As soon as we left there Colby called Kent, who is friends with Reichman and asked him to call him and tell him all of this. Later that evening, about 6:00 he called us and told us to get on a plane and get up north, but there were no more flights that night. We had my dad come and give us both a blessing, and help give Noah and Cutler one also. Then we packed up our kids and left town at 10:30 last night. We dropped the kids off at Makayla's, and drove up to Sandy to get a hotel room. We finally climbed into bed at 3:30, and had to get up by 7:00.

We met with the surgeon, Dr. Richard Tippetts, this morning and he explained a lot to us. I'm not good at remembering every little detail, and especially big dr. words so in my own words...
Colby has a tumor that is smack in the middle of his brain causing the two side ventricles to dilate, and also the back top ventricle to swell, in his words, hugely abnormal. They will place a shunt in this afternoon to drain the fluid, they will take some of the fluid and have it tested to see what they're really dealing with. Dr. Tippetts calls it a Germinoma. And I haven't done my research yet, so I don't know what it is. He's fairly certain they'll have to do surgery, but he won't let us get that far yet. He says that most of the time these are benign, but there's always a chance.
That's basically what I know for now. We are incredibly grateful for everyones concern, texts, calls, and prayers. We truly are blessed to have such amazing family and friends so close and who care so much! I can honestly say, I NEVER thought this would happen to us! I have best friends that have had to deal with this or worse, and never never never thought I would be on this side of the message.

We sat our kids down last night when we knew we needed to leave town and explained what we could to them. They cried, we all cried, knowing it isn't something good to be going through. But Noah, he's old enough to know it's serious business. He's scared to death and a huge worrier!! Please please pray for my kids to be comforted and know that our Heavenly Father loves them, and is there for them. We know there is a plan for each one of us. Some roads are harder than others, and we've been given a turn on our straight path we felt we were on. But we know there's a purpose for it and we're ready to learn from it.